Why Sexually Disciplined Men Get What They Want

Last week, I read some pretty terrifying statistics regarding men in America.

A study titled The State of American Men 2023, reported that 44% of male respondents had contemplated suicide in the last two weeks.

If this statistic tracks with the overall population, that means over 72 million men believe life is so miserable they’re better off dead.

As shocking as this number is, it isn’t that surprising.

Men today are more lost than ever.

They feel completely disconnected from themselves, from women, from their community, and from the world at large.

How could a man feel a connection to anything when his entire existence is superficial?

He’s replaced real-life friendships with online interactions

He’s sacrificed genuine intimate relationships for e-girls and porn.

He’s so deeply enslaved to video games and memes, he’s completely rejected the idea of finding a passion and purpose in life.

The average man is depressed, lonely, addicted and feels like there is no way out.

Instead of going out into the world, he spends his entire life in isolation.

Spending all day online, he stumbles across like-minded incels who indoctrinate him into the idea that it’s other people’s fault his life sucks.

Instead of having an honest look in the mirror, he blames feminism, social institutions, his parents, and anyone else he can point his finger at and proclaim, “This is because of you!”

But deep inside, he knows he’s full of shit.

It only takes a sliver of self-awareness to recognizes his life sucks because of the choices he makes every single day.

For most men, the downward spiral into depression, addiction, and hopelessness starts innocently as a boy - when they’re initially introduced to pornography.

Getting addicted to pornography is the first step a man takes towards completely losing control of his life.

The discovery that he can find instant distraction, stress relief, and pleasure with the click of a few buttons is the beginning of the end.

Science has proven porn addiction leads to higher rates of depression, anxiety, isolation, and suicidal ideation.

But this letter isn’t about quitting porn - the internet is littered with thousands of resources on why and how one should give that shit up.

This is about the much broader topic - how a man relates to his sexual energy.

You could give up porn and still waste your entire life chasing sex and orgasms.

Until a man has complete mastery over his own sexual energy, he is always at the will of his urges.

He will continually be unconsciously pulled around, trying to get off whenever he can, never accomplishing what he sets out to achieve, and lack the focus and energy required to live up to his full potential.

As Robin Williams put it so eloquently,

"God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.”

Today we’re going to explore why sexually disciplined men get what they want in life, and why any man who is committed to a high level of self-mastery must learn the ways of the sexual samurai.

SEXUALLY DISCIPLINED MEN UNDERSTAND THEIR SEED IS THEIR CREATIVE FORCE

Regardless of whatever nonsense modernity is espousing, men cannot give birth to children.

Instead, a man has the ability to birth creative ideas and visions into the world through his mind and will alone.

A woman’s egg must exist in order for her to bear a child.

A man’s seed must exist in order for him to bear an idea.

This is why Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich had an entire chapter dedicated to sexual transmutation.

He believed that sexual energy was the genesis of Creative Imagination, a sixth sense that we all have access to if we are able to stay disciplined with our sexual energy.

Napoleon observed that the majority of men do not find success until their 50’s.

He believed this was because men dissipate their sexual energy and over indulge in sex in their early years.

As their sexual energy naturally wanes with age, they begin to focus their creative energy and efforts on more noble pursuits.

It doesn’t take much digging around on the internet to validate this concept.

Ten’s of thousands of men around the world who practice semen retention attest that they are more creative, energetic, and driven when retaining their seed.

There are thousands of accounts of men having vivid, life-changing dreams for the first time in their life. They wake up rested, full of piss and vinegar, ready to take life by the horns and make an impact in the world.

The idea that our sexual energy is the foundation of our creative force isn’t anything new - Daoist scholars wrote comprehensive teachings on how men must master their sexual energy in order to live vital lives, and those were written over 8000 years ago.

Even the word libido literally translates to will to power, and was first found in St. Augustine’s writings around 426 BC.

It's painful to think about all of the energy I've wasted trying to get off.

Spending valuable time, money, and effort to hopefully go home with a random chick for the night.

Isolating myself and wasting hours secretly watch porn, exhausted from trying to hide my dirty habit and the associated shame.

Countless hours spent thinking about and desiring women, distracting me from focusing on my own growth and mission.

Is there a single man in the world that feels more energized, alive, or focused after getting off?

A man quickly passing out right after nutting is the running gag of every shitty Hollywood rom-com.

If a man builds his whole life around finding creative ways to bust a nut (either by himself or with women), he does it at the expense of creating his own life.

He is enslaved to his desire - and all of his potential is wasted trying to chase a moving target that ultimately just leaves him wanting more.

The primary bottleneck in a man’s life is energy - we are constantly trying to find the balance between expelling our precious energy and cultivating more.

But if a man understands that his seed is the fertilizer of not only human life, but everything else in the known world, he becomes awakened to how precious his life-force is.

With this realization, he gains access to an infinite reservoir of energy that makes anything possible.

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SEXUALLY DISCIPLINED MEN HARNESS THE POWER OF DELAYED GRATIFICATION

“There is no medicine, or food, and no spiritual salvation that can prolong a man’s life if he fails to understand or practice the harmony of sexual energy” - P’eng Tsu

One of the most unfortunate impacts of the 24/7 sexual buffet is the loss of delayed gratification.

We don’t have to work for anything anymore - everything is always and already available, at anytime, anywhere, with a few swipes and clicks.

The pursuit of sexual stimulation used to be a lengthy and challenging experience.

Men would be lucky to see one or two naked women in their entire lives.

The average plebe would have to spend months and years courting a woman, and sometimes even have to marry her, before she would hand her body over to him.

Only the upper echelons of royalty would have access to an abundance of women - and that still pales in comparison to what is available on-demand today.

Delayed gratification is an antiquated concept in modern society.

If I can access any type of woman in any scenario instantaneously from the age of 12, why the fuck would I wait for anything in life?

This is god-tier entitlement - expecting to have whatever you want whenever you want it.

Even before the advent of porn and the internet, men have wanted to fuck everything they see.

Men will always want to fuck.

It is the strongest impulse a man feels in his life.

If a man can master this 200-million year old biological impulse rooted in the oldest part of his brain, then he can master anything else.

Conversely, if a man knows that his lack of sexual discipline is ruining his life, yet he can't control his compulsions, do you really think he has any power to control his destiny?

Most people have heard of the marshmallow experiment - a study conducted in the 1970’s where children were given the option of getting one marshmallow now or waiting 15 minutes and receiving two.

The children that were able to wait for two (delayed gratification) were re-evaluated as teenagers and adults, and universally ended up being better human beings.

They were more confident, self-assured, handled stress better, and were even less likely to be overweight.

Sexual discipline is the pinnacle of delayed gratification training.

Delaying sexual satiety is fucking hard.

The barrier to entry for sexual stimulation is so low and the reward is quick, cheap, and reliable. It’s this perfect risk-reward ratio that keeps so many men hooked.

Because of this, 95% of men will never be able to cut this addiction out of their life.

This is the sad reality.

These men will never understand the satisfaction of working hard for a result that you can’t yet see.

Getting whatever you want in life requires the ability to stretch timelines.

To be OK with grinding for weeks, months, and years with no tangible results - simply trusting that the reward will one day come.

The man who gets whatever he wants applies his sexual discipline to his life, because he knows how he relates to his sexual energy is how he relates to his life.

From this empowered place, even if he’s horny, he knows he doesn’t need to get off.

He understands a short-term hit is not worth the long-term consequences.

He also knows his mission in the world may not bear fruit immediately, but he isn’t playing the game for instant results.

The disciplined man trusts his patience will pay off and that success is inevitable.

While other men give up early because they never learned how to delay their gratification, the disciplined man will be the last one standing and reap all the rewards.
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SEXUALLY DISCIPLINED MEN HAVE BRAINS THAT ACTUALLY WORK

The human brain was not designed for our modern age.

Its reward circuitry is too overwhelmed with the amount of stimulation coming at it 24 hours a day.

When the human brain engages in something that lights it up, it will continually desire more of that thing.

This was by design, to keep humans endlessly searching for new experiences.

We needed constant motivation in order to increase our chance of survival during the brutal hunter-gatherer days of the past.

Our brain was never prepared the never-ending carousel of stimulation that is our modern world. The more stimulation we receive, the more we seek.

This keeps us trapped on a hedonistic treadmill of consumption.

Just like a junkie needs a bigger dose each time to get high, we need more porn, bigger orgasms, and increased novelty to keep the dopamine hits flowing.

If the average man grasped the severe impact that frequent orgasm has on his brain, he would never look at sex the same.

Every single time we orgasm - whether it’s having sex with our hand or a real human being - our neurochemistry goes completely haywire.

Studies show these levels don’t normalize for at least two weeks.

For two weeks, our prolactin levels stay above normal levels, affecting our dopamine and testosterone levels negatively - the exact neurochemistry required to go out into the world and crush it.

How many men can honestly say they’ve gone 14 days without ejaculating?

Probably less than 1% of men on the planet.

Nearly all of the men in the entire world are running around with dysfunctional brain chemistry, trying to get another hit any way possible.

Most of these men have never had a day of stabilized neurochemistry in their entire adult life.

They don’t even know what it feels like to be in homeostasis - where their brain is operating normally and as intended.

This is why the idea of “dopamine detoxes” have exploded in popularity in recent years - men are realizing the hyper-stimulated world is fucking up their brain.

They don't feel right and they know there is something off.

More often than not, the biggest culprit is the addiction to orgasm.

If these men were to stop this one thing, 80% of their issues would clear up.

Their brains would start working properly again.

Because sexual discipline amongst men is such a rare quality, the man who practices it has little competition.

He will always remain victorious against the dysfunctional, undisciplined addict.

It’s like having cheat codes for life.

More accurately, it’s like everyone else is handicapped and they don't even know it.

FINAL THOUGHTS

There is no doubt that sexual dysfunction is a major contributor to what is ailing the modern man.

I believe in the next five years, the negative impact of our hyper-sexualized, porn-for-everyone society will be revealed.

Unless you’re a sincere religious devotee, sexual discipline is an extreme counter-culture move in our times.

In the era of obsessive sex-positivity, restraint is seen as old-fashioned and conservative.

It takes courage to dismiss the cultural narrative that we should be all be sharing our sexual energy as frequently and liberally as we want.

But men who walk the path of sexual discipline are sovereign men.

A sovereign man gets what he wants, because he is in control of himself, and therefore in control of his destiny.

I'm going to leave you with this last bit of knowledge from some ancient Daoist scriptures.

It is said that a man who brings his woman to climax without orgasming himself receives the following benefits:

• One time makes the Qi stronger
• Twice makes the hearing stronger and eyes brighter
• Three times grants the strength to stave off illness
• Four times and the mind becomes stronger
• Five times strengthens the heart
• Ten times and you are on the way to immortality

I don't know about you, but I plan on living forever.

That means I've got some 'work' to do.

-Evan